Tuesday, October 05, 2004

well......

feeling under the weather today. seems my cold has relapsed. saying "relapse" (a word i use a lot) is sort of silly though, i can't really tell when my body is free of nasty buggers (scientific term). it really seems like i never actually get over these afflictions. i think my parents are the only ones who really know how illness has been a recurrent theme in my life, and annie is certainly finding out. ever since i've been here, whenever i've been out hiking for awhile, i end up getting this feeling of heartburn, possibly acid reflux, even when i've been feeling fine all day. i've been coming home from hiking coughing many times. yes, dad, i'll probably see a doc about this. it's sort of funny how i am reluctant to see doctors, considering i want to be one myself. i think that comes mainly from seeing endless physicians with my headaches, and finding no answers. i remember writing my admission letter to master's, and it was the first time i really thought about how God had grown me through the hard times. so, i don't ask for prayer for healing so much as strength and faith. He truly is teaching me to let go of trusting my feelings (depending on them to validate the Truth), but rather, of course, to live by faith.

i also was thinking of another way to look at "smaller mountains." as my body has been adapting to exercise and altitude, the mountains which seemed so high and daunting, now seem reasonable. i was hiking up my favorite local trail yesterday, and got to a certain spot and had a peculiar feeling that walking up these hills felt just as natural as on flat ground. quite a nice feeling, hope i feel better tommorrow. ok, i changed my mind, pray for that!

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