Thursday, October 28, 2004

On truth being; a metaphysical philosophy

That which is, is, regardless of observation, hypothesis or discovery.

To find and discover is to influence one’s knowledge, but not to influence the fact of the actual truth. That which Is does not change to consider it’s own observation and understanding

Thus, in believing a certain concept or hypothesis it may be true, or not true, or of course, containing semblance of truth. But the truth unchanged

To how much one has evidence of a certain hypothesis’s actuality, is to influence one’s preference to believe in said hypothesis, as would be logical process, and useful that, though not ultimate.

In hope that considering said evidence, said hypothesis will indeed be actuality, and that is discovery.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

And as I wipe the tears away with the last semblance of pain, I say as ever before, "Lord whatever it takes that I might love you more: do it."

Monday, October 18, 2004

scared of the "net"?

moms, this one's for you especially

my mum and i were talking about how you can save big bucks by buying things online, and the piatts have just made the move into the 21st century (or so they tell me). so, here are a few sites you need to know about. cd's, vhs tapes, dvd's, books, textbooks. buy from other people. will also show ebay "buyitnow" items. you'll need to set up an account, but it's no big deal. i will never rent again because i can buy vhs tapes for $4-$5 shipped usually. that's how much it is to rent! just make sure you buy in advance, as it will take a while to arrive. i love old technology! if you have never heard about it, then well, wow is all i can say. basically here's the low down: buy from other people and componies. usually: risky, time consuming (like rumaging through bins at jc penny or something), and can get fantastic deals. just make sure you're buying from someone with a good deal of positive feedback. where i buy my green tea. got annie some egyptian chamomile and she's drinking it rather than grocery store garbage! happy i am well, uhhhhh, ok i've been know to enjoy a good cuban (or wanna be cuban rather) from time to time :). but really what i mainly use this site for is coffee. "what's that" you say. no really, check their coffee out from mayorga and montecristo. beats the pants off starbucks and any other grocery store "premium" brand. and beats the price too! good prices, unbelievable selection, no tax, free shipping right now on orders over $25 compare prices on anything if all else fails, google! my absolute favorite search engine. image search is also fantastic. my prof would use this in botany class during lectures! better than our textbooks.

well, this is really just a glimpse at some of my old standby's. basically, whatever you need, if it's reasonable to ship, will be cheaper online. and that's the lowdown. you heard it hear first :)

i rarely buy stuff in a store anymore. i have yet to find a good online grocery or meat store that's economical. the refrigerated shipping is just not available. peace, and happy hunting! ps. if any fam would need advice on buying anything, let me know. there are few things i hate more than watching people get scammed.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

there are actually seasons here!

there are actually seasons here!
Originally uploaded by uzibear.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

my God in heaven, it's good to be back

feeling good again, and i'm really happy about that. it's difficult for me to feel incapacitated. especially the feeling of not being able to make myself useful to anyone, especially annie. of course, that's just the way it is and i don't blame myself, but its great to be back on my feet. the mountains are calling.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

high ho, high ho!

and you now the rest.

well, my long and fruitful bid on the umemployment community is coming to a close. its been quite a gift of annie to give me this time to read, study, write, cook etc. you've got to realize what a super gal i've got. i'm sure you know. Man, we have had our times though :) :) this move has been hard on her, though i really know she is very glad to be here, and i'm grateful for that. anyway, i'll be shoveling snow here (no, seriously) when needed (5am-9am; yeah the circadian rthyms will be getting a bit of a jolt), and more than likely working at compusa selling unsuspecting locals lots of fun electronics to make there life nirvana on earth. man, i am so excited to see the first snow fall (i've decided to let the blizzard i drove through in wyoming not count). i think i'll probably shed tears. i remember so clearly being in Norway for the winter olympics and gripping (sp? "to gripe") because i had never seen snow fall, and it wasn't falling then (great weather for the olympics). we had a little snow flurry and i can absolutely picture that looking out the window at that great appartment in Oslo. it seems like i've been a viking traped in a desert in california. winter means something special to me, not to mention cross country skiing (aka real skiing), downhill (aka fat american skiing), snowshoing, ice climbing, sitting by the fire (wait, i mean "the oven"), and all that good stuff, not to mention now getting a phone call 4:30am telling me its time to shovel the walkways (whoopie!). it will be nice to have some more cash for beer (good local brews). the keg has been running dry lately { :) }. take it easy, take it with grace,

for wonder

we're not in california anymore, toto

i'm writing this outside, while a massive thunderstorm ripples overhead. i wish i could stop my ears at times, as the thunder is nearly deafening. the rain was coming down so hard at one point, i thought maybe some smart fellow was building himself an ark somewhere.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004


feeling under the weather today. seems my cold has relapsed. saying "relapse" (a word i use a lot) is sort of silly though, i can't really tell when my body is free of nasty buggers (scientific term). it really seems like i never actually get over these afflictions. i think my parents are the only ones who really know how illness has been a recurrent theme in my life, and annie is certainly finding out. ever since i've been here, whenever i've been out hiking for awhile, i end up getting this feeling of heartburn, possibly acid reflux, even when i've been feeling fine all day. i've been coming home from hiking coughing many times. yes, dad, i'll probably see a doc about this. it's sort of funny how i am reluctant to see doctors, considering i want to be one myself. i think that comes mainly from seeing endless physicians with my headaches, and finding no answers. i remember writing my admission letter to master's, and it was the first time i really thought about how God had grown me through the hard times. so, i don't ask for prayer for healing so much as strength and faith. He truly is teaching me to let go of trusting my feelings (depending on them to validate the Truth), but rather, of course, to live by faith.

i also was thinking of another way to look at "smaller mountains." as my body has been adapting to exercise and altitude, the mountains which seemed so high and daunting, now seem reasonable. i was hiking up my favorite local trail yesterday, and got to a certain spot and had a peculiar feeling that walking up these hills felt just as natural as on flat ground. quite a nice feeling, hope i feel better tommorrow. ok, i changed my mind, pray for that!

Monday, October 04, 2004

smaller mountains, mountain lions, and hot sauce

i've been considering writing a litle diddy called smaller mountains. i have been thinking about the relative size of mountians. for example, for someone in a wheel chair a speed bump might be a mountain, whereas Anatoli Boukereev, a famous moutaineer whose autobiography i've been reading, found himself on the summit of everest, almost by accident ("above the clouds"). pride has no place in the mountains. the bible says pride goes before a fall, and i think about that litterally when i'm climbing. i've seen a lot of people get hurt doing different things because they thought they were invincible. if you ever talk to a mountaineer who has seen his fair share of ascents, they always seem to have a subdued and calm attitude about them. spend enough time in the mountains, and you will learn that you don't conquer a mountain, you get a graceful chance to ascend it. i think it a blessing from God that no matter what we devise, the mountain always has the last word. we can't devise our way out of extreme circumstances. i've been doing some hiking lately. in the last few years i've been relatively unactive, and my physical condition has deteriated. it has been so easy for me to focus on this and despair. i've gone through so many times of trying to find a way back to the way things were. but what God has been teaching me is to let go of that ego, that self-focus. rather, to focus on Him. the thing is, quite simply, i just love being up in the mountains. my soul feels so free up there, so i just go. sometimes, i'm huffing an puffing and fatigued. i like to call that "joy without a smile." i hiked up to the top of one of the flatirons today, layed back against a rock, and just was. i just go up there because i love it, and it has been freeing for me to let go of this self concentration. i think of what emerson said that he would become "an all-seeing eye," as if his presence was absent from his own conciousness. God is focusing on us, so we're rather set, aren't we. it is for us to focus on Him.

as far as mountain lions and hot sauce (came up with that on the trail today), what i mean is this. i tend to do a lot of hiking by myself, and i've been contemplating getting some anit-bear pepper spray (i'm serious, really). we have these critters called bears and mountain lions out here in wild boulder, and i've been thinking of getting some defense. yeah, this stuff is really supposed to work (stop laughing). what it is is basically concentrated acids and stuff from chili peppers (no, really). so, i guess what you're paying for is a concentrated can of hot sauce! maybe, i'll go the el cheapo version, get some death-by-heat peppars,mash em up, and carry a bowl around with me. also, wouldn't it be a bummer if there was a big ol bear in front of you, you whipped out your "counter assault" spray, and someone accidently filled it with air freshener instead? then again, maybe you'd put the bear in a good mood and he'd just walk away and leave you alone.

At these heights I can barely see myself
Such an aid in the days of pride
What have I but Thee in Thine country?
Greatest love and light,
Fulfillment and purpose
I’ve struggled hard to find thee there,
Not in my land but in my ways,
In my mind,
In my days
I find at last not in sheltered cove,
In barren land
Or glorious trove
But In myself
And self-without
In rest at last

Rest from me,
And rest from my
Beneath this endless bluest sky,
For hear in true rest I’ve found thee,
And found myself,
In losing me

I’ve cried to thee form topmost spire
As if from there thine grace were higher
But Thou found me on lowest ground,
When to truth-love surrendered,
I be found

Friday, October 01, 2004


Originally uploaded by uzibear.

base camp

base camp
Originally uploaded by uzibear.

hey, i'm better

spent the day cleaning up the disaster zone that was my domicile during my affliction